1. Your wife uses crack pipes she found as spice jars.
2. The corner drug house is so busy that the police department assigns an officer to direct traffic.
3. You start adding muggers to your Christmas card list.
4. The minister at your church opens his sermon by saying, "Yo, dig this."
5. The captain of your block watch group wears an ankle bracelet monitor.
6. The ice cream man drives a Humvee.
7. The local hardware store stocks razor wire.
8. Your kid collects spent shell casings instead of baseball cards.
9. The high school football team's uniforms are made of Kevlar.
10. You know how each member of the police SWAT team likes his coffee.
11. The Girl Scouts offer a free roach clip with every box of cookies you buy.
12. The neighborhood car thieves always return your car in time for you to leave for work.
13. The panhandlers offer a monthly payment option.
14. Your city councilman has a Crips tattoo.
15. The little girls on the block use police chalk to draw hopscotch squares.
16. Your neighborhood block party is held in Cell Block D.
17. Your neighbors save money by having their daughter's First Communion and baby shower party at the same time.
18. The birds at your feeder snort the seed you put out.
19. Telemarketers call with special offers on steel siding for your house.
20. The neighbors smoke their lawn instead of mowing it.
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